Choices
by Shiner Shining Bright
Summary: Way back when, I wrote If Things Were Different, a fic where Spottedleaf has a chance to be with Firestar before she dies. I trashed it because it was bad. I've brought it back from the dead, only this time, it's better. XD
1. Chapter 1: Fear

**This is my first variation to If Things Were Different. Sorry it took a while. I had kind of forgotten the Warriors fandom for a bit... Without further ado, new fic!**

"Spottedkit!" Mousepaw squeaked cheerfully. "How are you?"

"Fine," the kit murmured unenthusiastically, then added a sour, "Why do you care?"

"Because I...uh..." Mousepaw tried to answer, but was lost for words. She should have known Spottedkit would ask, Spottedkit thought with an internal sneer. Now that everyone had started taking an interest in the able-bodied she-kit, Spottedkit had noticed something was off.

"Why?" Spottedkit pressed intently. This had become interesting.

"No reason," Mousekit squealed nervously, then began to quickly edge away until she was almost a clearing away from the tortoiseshell. Spottedkit stared after her, glaring the entire way through.

Everyone seemed to do that nowadays, Spottedkit reflected with slight satisfaction. Whenever Spottedkit showed even a slight hint of anyone getting on her nerves, anyone in close vicinity to her would back off quickly, glancing over to her nervously to see if she was staring. The ThunderClan cats seemed to believe she, an almost five-moon-old kit, would try to kill them. But whenever Spottedkit tried to ask why, she always got the same response, a cat making an excuse, then fleeing.

By now, the tortoiseshell kitten had noticed why the cats thought so. When Spottedkit looked down at herself, she saw her sleek tortoiseshell pelt looking neat and fluffy, but that could barely hide her almost-bulging muscles, so unnatural for a cat of Spottedkit's age. Most five-moon-old kits weren't that large, ready to grow a lot during apprenticehood, but although Spottedkit was not large, she was muscular, so muscular, she looked like a young Tigerclaw. Tigerclaw was a dark tabby tom, a new warrior, but he had long, curved claws, and cats were hesitant to approach him.

"Spottedkit, are you alright?" came a calm, sweet voice. Spottedkit knew it as the voice that would not be afraid of her or alienate her, the voice of Dappletail, Spottedkit's mother.

"I'm fine," Spottedkit mewed, dejected. "Don't worry."

"It's my job to worry," Dappletail replied sweetly, pressing her nose into her daugher's fur. "And remind you that I love you."

"I love you, too," murmured Spottedkit.

**Isn't that so heartwarming? XD**


	2. Chapter 2: Snow Storm

**Thanks for those reviews! A lot more than ITWD got its first time around. To the anonymous review: My only regret with ITWD is that I never got to Rusty. It got to the part **_**right **_**before Into the Wild. Also, if anyone would care to Beta this, I'd greatly appeciate it. PM me~**

**That was long.**

Spottedkit stared helplessly at the scene outside the nursery. The thing that had been previously introduced to Spottedkit as snow was falling all over the ground, covering the camp in a cold, white blanket. Spottedkit had a bit of a pessimistic approach to the idea of snow. She was so used to the cats in ThunderClan being kind of afraid of her. The way the snow kept falling made her feel like it was openly defying her, which didn't help her image. She tried to keep herself occupied, thinking of the snow in front of her, rather than the topic being discussed in the snow-covered clearing. It was snowing heavily, and Bluefur's kits were missing!

"You need to send out a search party for the kits and for Bluefur!" demanded Dappletail.

"With snow like this, I can't send any cat out," explained Sunstar. "I don't want to lose any more warriors in the snow. After the snow stops-"

"By the snow stops, the four of them might as well be dead!" Dappletail argued desperately. "We need to find them _now_!"

"You're right," Sunstar admitted. "In a group, you're less likely-"

"Yes, yes," Dappletail cut him off urgently.

"Send out two groups. The kits stay in the nursery. Only warriors can go," Sunstar instructed. But Dappletail was gone.

"Thistleclaw! Search patrol!" Dappletail ordered. Thistleclaw's head snapped around.

"Can I lead it?" Thistleclaw inquired.

"Yes. Gather two warriors. Now."

"What's going on?" asked Thistleclaw.

"Bluefur's kits are missing!" Dappletail meowed urgently.

"Oh, no!" Thistleclaw gasped, though Spottedkit thought she could see a hint of an evil smile. "Speckletail, Snowfur! Are you coming?"

"Of course," replied Speckletail immediately. "Snowfur?"

"Bluefur's missing? Of course I'll come!" Snowfur meowed. "Where are we going?"

"Snakerocks. Dappletail, search close to ShadowClan."

"Of course."

"Let's go!" Thistleclaw ordered. He turned and left the camp, wading through the heavy snow to reach the entrance, followed by the other members of his party.

"Alright...Smallear, Sparrowpelt, you're out and about. Come on!"

"I suppose," Smallear grumbled, worried about the large amount of snow.

"I can't say no," Sparrowpelt responded.

"Then let's go!" Dappletail ordered. "There's no time to lose. Spottedkit, stay in the nursery with Runningkit."

"Yes, Dappletail," mewed Spottedkit. She dug her sharp claws into the cold soil underneath her paws. She wanted to be trekking through the snow, weathering strong winds and saving lost kits, only to come home and have the Clan be grateful to her for her deed. But _no_, the only kit she would be saving was Runningkit, who wasn't used to the cold.

Dappletail nodded shortly. "Come on," she told her team, flicking her ears urgently toward the entrance to the camp. Sparrowpelt and Smallear nodded sadly and followed Dappletail on her way out. After they left, the team of three would turn towards ShadowClan, beside the Thunderpath, and search the territory around there for any sign of the missing cats. Meanwhile, Thistleclaw's team would search Snakerocks, a pile of large stones known for its large population of adders. It was usually a place to be avoided, but since the snow was keeping the adders away, it was safer.

"I hope you find them!" Spottedkit called to Dappletail as she was leaving.

Spottedkit turned around. Runningkit was fast asleep, having been fed a short time ago. Spottedkit guessed that he would sleep for a short while longer, then he would be hungry again and wake up. Featherwhisker padded in, looking like he hadn't heard about the dilemma of the missing kits.

"Oh, Spottedkit," Featherwhisker meowed. "Have you seen Bluefur?"

"No. Neither has anyone! Her and her kits are missing!" Spottedkit informed Featherwhisker, her mew verging on a wail.

"Does Sunstar know?" Featherwhisker pressed.

"Yes. He sent out two patrols."

"In this weather?" Featherwhisker asked skeptically.

"Why not? They could _die_!"

"True. I hope the kits are found," Featherwhisker meowed.

"Me, too," Spottedkit replied. "I would really miss them. Runningkit is really boring."

"Give him time. When you see her, give Dappletail this," Featherwhisker instructed gently, not wanting to worry Spottedkit. He laid a small parcel on the ground.

"That's supposed to help with her cough, right?" Spottedkit asked, trying to distract herself. "Do you think she'll get whitecough?"

"Judging by her symptoms, perhaps," Featherwhisker answered truthfully. "But she'll be fine if you give her the catmint."

"Please let her be alright!" Spottedkit pleaded under her breath.

"She'll be fine," answered Featherwhisker. He then turned around and left. Spottedkit was left with Runningkit.

Dappletail wasn't back yet. Spottedkit desperately wished she was out with her mother. She wanted to show her mother that she was strong like a warrior, and could handle the cold. She wanted to be sure that her mother wasn't going to get whitecough, and the heavy snow would only make it worse. But she wasn't the kind of kit that would go against her mother's orders. They were for her own good.

Runningkit was still fast asleep, and now Spottedkit was also beginning to doze off. But just as she was about to fall into a deep sleep, she thought she saw Bluefur's blue-gray pelt inch into the nursery from a secret entrance and tear a big hole in the nursery's wall, big enough for a fox to climb through. No...she didn't see that...why would Bluefur...?

"A fox!"

"Oh, Bluefur, I'm so sorry!"

"I can't believe I let this happen!"

"We grieve for the loss of your kits, Bluefur."

All around camp, the word was out that Bluefur's kits had been stolen by a fox and were now dead.

**I know Snowfur's supposed to be dead by now, but I forgot that part when I was writing. **


	3. Chapter 3: Ceremonies

**Sorry for the slow update. State testing is wasting my time.**

The snow was receding, good news to Spottedkit. At this point, leaf-bare was ending and Spottedkit was almost six moons old. She had even begun the classic kit ritual of sitting in camp and thinking about who her mentor would be as soon as she woke up.

Spottedkit was the violent type, and knew she was, which explained why she admired Thistleclaw. He was strong and wasn't afraid to show anyone who tthey were dealing with. He was definitely her first choice for a mentor. But while she had that figured out, she didn't get why Thistleclaw keptwaking up later and later in the morning and going on less and less patrols. She knew he had been sick for the past days, but he was becoming an elder, for StarClan's sake!

There were 2 likely candidates to replace him. There was Thistleclaw, charismatic and leaderlike, the tom Spottedkit would be delighted to have as Clan deputy. Besides, it would be just perfect if Spottedkit was apprenticed to the deputy. And perhaps leader, if it came to that. However, Bluefur was also in the running to become deputy. She conveniently had no kits now, so Bluefur was just a warrior now. She was as charismatic, but less terrifying, than Thistleclaw, and Sunstar seemed to be particularly fond of her. Bluefur was definitely Sunstar's favorite, but even though Spottedkit wanted to be apprenticed to the deputy, no way would she be apprenticed to Bluefur. Bluefur was soft like a kittypet.

Spottedkit had been right. The day after the Gathering, Sunstar gathered the Clan.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" Sunstar yowled. Spottedkit's eyes opened quickly. She had been sleeping, but being so close to becoming an apprentice, she had to be ready for anything.

Spottedkit strode out of thenursery, followed by Dappletail and Runningkit. Runningkit was barely more than a moon old now, but his mother, Squirrelpelt, had been killed. That was the first death Spottedkit had seen. And to her delight, she wasn't afraid. Spottedkit only regretted that Squirrelpelt hadn't taken the enemy cat down with her.

"Tawnyspots is to be moving to the elder's den," Sunstar announced as soon as every cat was seated. Meows of approval answered the announcement. Spottedkit agreed: Tawnyspots was weak and needed to be replaced.

"We are in need of a new deputy. This shall be Bluefur."

As approving mews spread quickle across the Clan, Spottedkit could only gasp. _Thistleclaw_ was supposed to become deputy! He was supposed to lead the Clan to greatness, and mentor Spottedkit so she could become the greatest warrior in history! But her dreams had been crushed. Spottedkit sighed quietly and bowed her head in sadness.

"There are still warriors to make!" announced Sunstar, stopping cats from leaving. A few of the older apprentices smiled proudly.

"Tigerpaw and Goldenpaw, come forward," Sunstar announced, motioning with his tail for the two apprentices to come forward. The cats in front stepped back as the two apprentices padded forward. Goldenpaw's pride shone on her face, though she looked practically uncaring in comparison to Tigerclaw's fierce, raw pride.

"I, Sunstar, leader of ThunderClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard in the ways of your noble code and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Tigerpaw, Goldenpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your lives?"

"I do!" Goldenpaw meowed, raising her head proudly.

"I do!" Tigerpaw declared eagerly.

"Then by the power of StarClan, I give you your warrior names. Tigerpaw, from now on, you will be known as Tigerclaw. StarClan admires your courage and your ferocity in battle. Goldenpaw, you will now be known as Goldenflower. StarClan admires you compassion and your determination and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

Spottedkit lit up as she imagined herself in that position. Making her a warrior would be the smartest choice any ThunderClan cat would make. Along with the rest of her clan she cheered the warriors' new names.

"As the warrior code states, Goldenflower and Tigerclaw must sit vigil in the night," Sunstar announced. As Spottedkit watched, she noticed the many shades of sunset dappling the sky. She tried to imagine herself as Tigerclaw's apprentice. He was fierce like Thistleclaw, though Spottedkit would prefer it of Thistleclaw were her mentor.


	4. Chapter 4: Fallen Warrior

**Ohmigosh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm such a terrible updater, just like with ITWD! I can't believe I didn't update in so long, so before I annoy you further, I shall show you the next chapter:**

Spottedkit sat and compared Tigerclaw and Thistleclaw every day since the warrior ceremony. Neither were soft toms, and Spottedkit liked that. But who had more ambition? Spottedkit wanted to be apprenticed to a cat that would one day be leader. Every morning, she woke up early to see each cat. Tigerclaw was beginning to show the ambition in the same way as Tigerclaw. He carried himself differently now that he was a warrior, proud and powerful. But of either of the cats, Spottedkit still wanted to be apprenticed to Thistleclaw.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

There comes a time in every kit's life when they're tempted to do something they're not allowed to do. Today was Spottedkit's turn. She stared out at the gorse entrance to the camp wistfully, willing to leave and explore the territory. She had less than a moon until she was old enough to be an apprentice, and could walk out of the ThunderClan camp. But would it hurt to be prepared?

"Spottedkit?" murmured Willowpaw, Spottedkit's only real friend, and her older sister. "What're you doing?"

"I want to go to the borders of our territory, so I can see who I'm up against when I become a real apprentice," Spottedkit replied in a whisper, like she was reciting a prophecy.

"You can't. No kit can leave camp," Willowpaw mewed worriedly.

"So? I won't get caught!" Spottedkit replied firmly.  
"But- you can't go!" Willowpaw ordered, motherly and stern.

"Are you going to try and stop me?" Spottedkit hissed, baring her teeth menacingly.

"N-no. Of course not. I'm coming with you, though."

"You can if you want to."

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Where to go now?" Spottedkit asked, her eyes the size of moons at the sight of the ThunderClan trees. "These are huge."

"Of course," Willowpaw replied, taking the role of tour guide. "To your right, you will see trees, and to your left, you will see more trees."

Willowpaw giggled at her own joke, but what was a giggle for Willowpaw had Spottedkit rolling on the ground, purring with amusement. This was the Spottedkit that the Clan didn't see: an innocent kit that had to purr at a joke, whether it was funny or not. The laughter was so contagious; Willowpaw couldn't help but continue to purr at her own joke. Suddenly, a loud hiss broke the silence.

"Not if it costs my life, Crookedjaw!" a tom hissed, and Spottedkit instantly recognized it as the voice of the ambitious tom whom she wanted to be apprenticed to.

"That's Thistleclaw!" Spottedkit mewed to Willowpaw. "We have to help him!"

"Let's go!" Willowpaw ordered, and raced off in the direction of Thistleclaw's voice: Sunningrocks. Spottedkit followed close behind, her small kit-sized legs finding it hard to keep up with Willowpaw's longer ones. They raced past tall trees they would have stopped to admire in less dire situations, everything going by in a blur.

The sounds of fighting cats grew closer sooner and sooner. Spottedkit knew the aggressive tom well, and knew that he would rather die than lose to RiverClan. Spottedkit had to be sure that he didn't lose. Then, maybe, Thistleclaw would want her as an apprentice.

The scene she came upon was terrible. Thistleclaw's three-cat patrol had been ambushed by what looked like half of RiverClan's fighting force. Red blood splattered the normally light gray rocks. Ragged clumps of cat fur littered the ground, clawed-off, and all Spottedkit could hear were shrieks of pain. For a moment, Spottedkit almost wanted to help all the cats, even the RiverClan cats, but then she caught herself. Instantly, Spottedkit and Willowpaw leapt into battle. While Willowpaw stayed on the edges of the battle, Spottedkit leapt into the heart of it, where she knew Thistleclaw would be.

"Spottedkit! What are you doing here?" Thistleclaw hissed. Spottedkit was shocked to see that the tom looked angry, rather than pleased or relieved.

"You needed help!" Spottedkit pointed out. She jumped at one tom from RiverClan. The RiverClan tom, initially surprised to be attacked by one so small, jumped back, barely missing Spottedkit's blow. Then his training kicked in. The tom tackled Spottedkit, raking his claws across her back. An intense pain exploded inside Spottedkit. She only had time to see that Willowpaw was also faring badly in the battle before the world went white.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

The first scent that hit the roof of Spottedkit's mouth was that of burdock rook. There was no burdock root at Sunningrocks, so that mean that Spottedkit was in the medicine den. And then a flash of movement caught Spottedkit's eye, but it was gone in a moment.

"I see you've awoken," murmured a white, feathery-looking cat. Spottedkit recognized him as Featherwhisker, the Clan medicine cat.

"Why am I here?" Spottedkit asked curiously.

"You lost a lot of blood in the battle," Featherwhisker informed her.

"What about Thistleclaw and Willowpaw?" Spottedkit asked, looking around frantically.

"Willowpaw escaped. She was released from here yesterday."

"And Thistleclaw?"

"Thistleclaw didn't survive the battle."


	5. Chapter 5: Apprentice

**Once again, a total failure to update. Well, I'll call this my first PULL entry. Sorry, person that made PULL up. I'm terrible with deadlines.**

"Come on! Get pretty! You have to look presentable if you want to be apprenticed today!" Dappletail meowed.

Spottedkit bolted up from her sleep. She wondered where she was for a moment. The scent of individual herbs and berries didn't immediately hit the roof of her mouth, and Spottedkit panicked for a moment. Why wasn't she in the medicine den? Then she remembered: Featherwhisker had released her from the medicine den the previous night, and she was back in the nursery.

"Oh, right! I can't wait!" Spottedkit mewed excitedly, and began to lick herself vigorously. She wanted her pelt to shine like a StarClan cat when she became an apprentice!

The moment she finished cleaning herself, Spottedkit leapt up, pelting outside to tell Willowpaw.

"Willowpaw! Willowpaw!" Spottedkit squealed, pelting around the camp faster than a WindClan rabbit. She noticed that her Clanmates backed off whenever she went anywhere, but today, it didn't matter. She would be an apprentice today, and of all cats, she hoped her mentor would be Tigerclaw.

"Yes, Spottedkit?" her sister asked calmly. Willowpaw had been in the middle of chewing on a small thrush, Spottedkit could see, as Willowpaw had feathers lining her maw.

"I'll be an apprentice today!" Spottedkit mewed excitedly.

"Congratulations!" Willowpaw had time to mew before Sunstar began his call.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Highrock for a Clan meeting!" Sunstar called, his voice ringing out across the ThunderClan camp.

"Yes! That's me!" Spottedkit whispered eagerly to Willowpaw, and other ThunderClan cats knew as well, because the expression on her Clanmates faces showed that they were slightly fearful of what Spottedkit could do as an apprentice.

Spottedkit pranced over to take a seat right in front of the Highrock, curling her tail around her paws as she waited eagerly for her Clanmates to gather. Slowly, the whole of ThunderClan gathered around the Highrock for Spottedkit, to see _her _become an apprentice. And once the last of the Clan had gathered, Sunstar began to speak.

"There is great pride in seeing a kit become an apprentice, and today we may feel that pride," Sunstar announced. "It is Spottedkit's turn to become an apprentice. From this day until you earn your warrior name, you will be known as Spottedpaw. Tigerclaw, you will be her mentor."

Spottedpaw cheered inwardly. Tigerclaw would be her mentor, just the cat she had hoped for. She watched in admiration as Tigerclaw padded forward to touch noses with her. When he reached the front, Spottedpaw jumped up eagerly to touch noses with her mentor.

"Yay for Spottedpaw!" Willowpaw was the only one to cheer. The rest of the Clan joined in halfheartedly, the hint of a fear-scent lingering in the wind. As the lukewarm cheers died down, Sunstar flicked his tail to dismiss his Clan. As the cats dispersed, Spottedpaw jumped up eagerly.

"Please can we explore the territories?" Spottedkit begged.

"Of course," Tigerclaw murmured, and began to pad towards the gorse entrance to the camp, Spottedpaw following him out.

They padded through the forest quietly, Spottedpaw now carrying herself with an air of confidence. As she looked around, Spottedpaw noticed the same bushes and the same trees as she had passed before, as she ran to Sunningrocks to help Thistleclaw. And then Spottedpaw realized that Tigerclaw was taking Spottedpaw to Sunningrocks, the place his mentor had died.

"It- it's barely been a moon," Spottedpaw murmured kindly. "You don't have to go back."

"I know," Tigerclaw murmured back, his eyes beginning to study the ground before him. "But you're my apprentice now, so I have to be a good mentor."

"It's okay," Spottedpaw replied. Tigerclaw nodded, and turned around to head in a different direction, the one he had explained would lead to ShadowClan.

They padded on, and soon Spottedpaw began to ask herself how long the two would have to walk until they reached the border. She was about to ask Tigerclaw when he spoke in a whisper to her.

"He would have been an amazing mentor, you know," Tigerclaw told her, and Spottedpaw knew he meant Thistleclaw. "He wasn't soft like Bluefur is, and all I hope is that I can follow in his footsteps and train you as he would have, Spottedpaw."

"What's that smell?" Spottedpaw asked suddenly, a pungent odor hitting the roof of her mouth.

"That's the Thunderpath, the awful-smelling strip between us and ShadowClan."

"Oh...wait, what's that other smell?" Spottedpaw asked her mentor. "Blood!"

"Let's go!" Tigerclaw ordered and ran forward to join the battle.

Tigerclaw leapt immediately into the heart of the fight, but Spottedpaw stayed at the fringes to assess the situation. The heart of the battle was nothing more than three cats in a fight, but those cats were also losing a lot of blood. Blood... What kept a cat alive was just being mercilessly spilled over a small skirmish with no obvious reason to it. Who knew how much blood these cats would lose, and would the medicine cats be able to heal such wounds? And what of the battle scars, a permanent part of a cat's physical appearance?

"I have to get out of here," Spottedpaw murmured to herself, and ran off, back to the safety of ThunderClan territory.

All of a sudden, a cat leapt on her back. Spottedpaw whirled around and raked her claws across whatever she could feel, which was the cat's nose. All too late, Spottedpaw realized that the cat she had hurt was Tigerclaw. And Spottedpaw knew one thing: she would never be a warrior.


End file.
